Why can't time slow down...

I've always hated how fast time flies... I'm always thinking.. I have to do it NOW... I have to get it done or I have to document it so I don't forget... I'm the type of person that savors every second when it comes to certain things.. I feel like if I don't experience it to the fullest, I'll regret it. 

 I've spent a small fortune on pictures of my children, with one photographer, in one session I ended up spending $3500.00 then went back 3 months later for more pictures of my daughter, then again 2 months later to a different photographer for my kid's spring pictures... I'm obsessed, shutterfly is my addiction, I've created at least 20 photobooks, all with at least 30 pages. I'm usually up late at night creating one. I just don't want to miss a moment and I like to document what happened at that particular moment in time. I scrapbook.... shocking I know.. on the surface most would not take me for the scrapbooking type.. but I love it.. I love organizing my memories.. at home I'm always looking at my photos and scrapbooks, I prefer that over watching television. 

I want to slow time down... in just 2 1/2 months I'll be in Connecticut, and I don't want to move... I have no idea how I'm going to handle it when that time comes but right now I'm completely stressed about it... there are days that are better and I get really excited.. but then there are nights that I toss and turn and worry about what the future brings.. My Godson, Benedict came over for a second to drop off hot cross buns my sister made, Gael was thrilled, he jumped for joy to see Benedict, and the second he left, Gael couldn't stop crying.. my son is at an age where he loves playing with other children and for the first time, he's running and loving every second with his cousins. That's what I love about living so close to my family... not only do I have the security to know they're there but our kids have each other and their bond will be closer than cousins. I never thought I'd love children, always thought I was too selfish for it. Then my first nephew Harry was born, I remember holding that boy, amazing...I was an Aunt for the first time, I still have the room badge I wore when I went to visit my sister in the hospital, I'll never forget that moment.  I became a Godmother about 9m later... Benedict felt like my own son when I was with him, I hope I hold that title to it's true honor. Then the others came one by one.. Bernadette, KAI, William, and after that.. came my boy Gael... then Aidan and my little Lucia... there's also Daniel, who every time Gael sees he can't stop hugging... and soon they'll expect a new cousin, Olivia, a perfect playmate for Lucia.. only a year apart... I study my son now, I can see the wheels turning in his little imagination... so many cousin's to imagine with.... I wish I can just slow down time just for those moments...