Lucia's big day...

9 months old and started to walk! I'm speechless, thrilled and sad at the same time.. she's so small and growing so fast....

Danny and I always knew we wanted our children close in age... when Gael was born, I was already thinking about baby #2... I wanted them about 15 month apart.. I didn't expect 13 months. But I don't regret it, in fact I love it more, I welcome the challenge. When I was pregnant with #2 I wanted a boy, I fell so in love with my son, I wanted one just like him. We had the ultrasound tech write out on a post it the sex of the baby and put it in an envelope and on Danny's birthday we opened it, and there it was...."It's a girl!" My mouth dropped, I was shocked and nervous, happy and scared. Girl? All I kept thinking was.. she's going to be just like me, and that terrifies me. I have so many faults, I wouldn't wish them on anyone.. my fear of failure cripples me, my lack of patience, I'm stubborn, I live in the past, I dig myself into the deepest holes when I'm upset, and that's not even gracing the surface... then there's society and it's influence on girls, from weight to fashion to labels... and that even continues on into adulthood, I cringe when I hear terms like "Alphamom/wife" "Power this.. or that" Then if anyone knew me growing up.. then you know the trials and tribulations I put my parents through.... Having a girl is God's way of smacking me back in the face... But I take it now as my opportunity to make things right, serve as an example to my daughter, show her the mistakes I made and how I fixed them, ignore the labels etc.. I can't imagine life without my sweet little baby. I love her so much I fall to my knees each time I see her... She is my soul, my strength and the passion that drives me every second of the day. She captivates me. Gael brings out the best in me, his happiness exudes in our home, and he melts me. When I had my son, he filled a void in me I had for a long time, he completed my existence in this world.. gave me a reason, and when I had my girl.. she gave me fight, enhanced the passion and focus I had to live my life every second for my family. She's is what is keeping me focused on this big move.